What does it mean to be Aromantic?
- Morgan Messick
- 1 minute ago
- 2 min read
Being aromantic (sometimes shortened to Aro) means you experience little or no romantic attraction. That doesn’t mean you’re incapable of love, connection, or intimacy — it just looks different from the traditional romance-focused model society often celebrates, especially around holidays like Valentine’s Day.
Can aromantic people still experience love and closeness?
Think of it like this: if romantic attraction is the spark that makes someone want to date or pursue a romantic partnership, aromantic people simply don’t experience that spark — but they can still feel deep love, care, and closeness in many ways.
Aromanticism is a valid identity within the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, but it comes with a lot of misconceptions. People sometimes assume aromantic people are emotionless, avoidant, or just “haven’t met the right person.” None of that is true.
As David Jay, founder of the Asexual Visibility and Education Network (AVEN), puts it:
“Being aromantic is not about being incapable of love — it’s about experiencing love differently.”
Where does aromanticism fit on the romantic spectrum?
Romantic attraction isn’t simply “on” or “off” — it exists on a spectrum, just like sexual attraction. People fall in different places along this spectrum:
Alloromantic: experiences romantic attraction regularly (what most people think of as “romantic”).
Grayromantic: experiences romantic attraction rarely or under very specific conditions.
Demiromantic: experiences romantic attraction only after forming a deep emotional connection.
Aromantic: experiences little or no romantic attraction.
Understanding the spectrum helps make sense of the variety of relationships people form.
What’s the difference between aromantic and asexual? Could someone be both?
Romantic attraction and sexual attraction are separate. Aromanticism describes your romantic feelings, while asexuality describes your sexual feelings. Some people experience one, both, or neither.
Can aromantic people have healthy relationships?
Absolutely. Aromantic relationships might not center on romance, but they can still be deeply meaningful. Examples include:
Queerplatonic relationships (QPRs): partnerships that go beyond friendship but don’t involve romance.
Long-term partnerships: living together, co-parenting, or sharing life commitments without romantic attraction.
Chosen family: building intentional communities of care, support, and love.
Intimacy, commitment, and love don’t require romantic feelings — they just require mutual respect, communication, and care.
What’s the big takeaway?
There’s no single blueprint for love, attraction, or relationships. The truth is that love doesn’t always need romance to be real, and aromantic people are living proof of that.
Remember: your experiences of love, connection, and intimacy are valid, no matter where they fall on the romantic spectrum. Curiosity, openness, and respect help all of us appreciate the diversity of human relationships — without judgment.
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